It's a (Wo) Man's World- The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufock

Text for the poem can be found here.

"The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufock" by T.S. Eliot has been one of my favorite poems since I first read it.  Something about it has always spoken to me, but I know many people struggle with interpreting it.  While it is somewhat impressionistic, I think trying to understand the "plot" or narrative of the poem is missing the point.  Specifically, I believe the poem is about male anxiety in a female social space. Let me explain.

First, you have the Epigraph.  It's a quotation from Dante's Inferno and I think it's a significant choice.  It's telling the reader the  frame of reference to approach the poem from.  Translated, it means:

"If I but thought that my response were made
to one perhaps returning to the world,
this tongue of flame would cease to flicker.
But since, up from these depths, no one has yet
returned alive, if what I hear is true,
I answer without fear of being shamed."

This speech is given by one of the damned souls (tongue of flame) in Hell after Dante asks him what he did to end up there.  The soul replies, if he thought anyone outside of Hell would here his story, he wouldn't tell it, but because no one every goes to Hell and escapes, he assumes his secrets are safe.  

This sets the stage for the poem.  Prufrock, the speaker, is revealing to you, the reader, what causes him torment.  And, like the stories in the Inferno, it's one not bound by physical space or time restraints. Instead, it's a poetic statement about Prufrock's suffering.  

Another tidbit to keep in mind is that the original working title for this poem was "Prufock Among the Women."  In the world of normal heterosexuality, "Love Song" is a more poetic term, but I think it obscures the intent for today's reader.  This poem is not about frustration, anxiety and emasculation generally, but very specifically about those feeling being caused by women (not through specific behavior, just their intimidating presence).

The first stanza (Lines 1-12)  essentially sets the tone of the poem. We know immediately that Prufrock's view of the world is somehow off.  We get images of etherized patients, emptying streets, cheap hotels and bars and emptying streets.  The feelings of cheapness and dirtiness are important, but they are general images.  Most importantly, Prufock foreshadows his real dilemma, "the overwhelming question" but tells the reader not to ask what it is.  Focusing on what the question "is" is not the point.  

The next section, Lines 13-36, is further mode and place description. It sets the "action" of the poem in the dirty city, but more importantly, in a female space.  "The room" where the women are speaking is a salon(all the talk of taking tea, coffee spoons and cake), a social space for ladies of high culture to discuss art, politics, etc.  The repetitions about time evoke the tedium cause by these social coffee or tea parties, and the ways that, socially, the decisions and pauses you make can have repercussions much more complicated and fast acting than Prufrock feels comfortable with.  Prufrock is entering a realm where women's social codes rule, which means communication that is more subtle, indirect and, for a straight man wishing for female attention, risky than normal interactions.

Lines 37 to 48 further emphasize the gendered nature of Prufrock's anxiety.  Here, his concerns are with his physical appearance (balding and skinny), which he is trying to cover up through concentrating on his dress. These are not concerns most men have when interacting with other men.  However, this is all a ploy to build his confidence, to actually dare disturb the universe. 

Lines 49-69 explore why Prufrock feels so anxious in this female space.  He feels familiar, but not comfortable with the social code expected in the salon.  He feels his whole life has been confined by this code (measured out in coffee spoons) and fears the reaction of women when he decides to express his true feelings.  For him, it would be a presumption upon the good taste and feelings of the women. In the past, when he has tried, the direct attention of his audience makes him feel like a bug specimen, dead and pinned down for examination.  The last stanza of the section should reinforce that this anxiety isn't general, but specific to his interaction with women.  As a straight man, the undercurrent of sexual attraction is part and parcel of this anxiety.  He's notices small physical traits (arm hair) and scents, distractions from trying to communicate, but also something he can't help but be distracted by.  

Lines 70-74 are simply his hypothetical reaction to trying to explain himself at the salon.  If he were as honest there as he is with us?  The very idea strikes him as absurd and causes such self-loathing that he wishes he had been born a crab or lobster instead of a man.

Lines 75-110 show Prufrock expressing his failure to communicate and the fear that drives it through a series of hypothetical breakthroughs. He forthrightly admits that he has no confidence in himself. Despite agonizing over his inability to speak with women, both generally and sexually, he feels that he can't.  He's no prophet and doesn't feel like his speech has value.  Prufrock attaches great importance to his unspoken feelings (impossible to say what he means, but it's an overwhelming question, the universe squeezed into a ball, the truth of Lazarus back from the dead).  But he doesn't even begin to speak for fear of the reaction of the women in the salon, who so casually (adjusting a shawl or leaning on a pillow) would crush him by saying he misunderstand them.

Lines 111-131 are Prufrock's rationalization for his failures to speak and be understood by women and his expression of fear that he will never be able to connect with women.  Emphatically, it would NOT have been worth expressing himself.  The Hamlet comparison is particularly telling.  Most people consider themselves the protagonist in a story about their own lives.  Prufrock has such a poor opinion of himself that he identifies with Polonius, being a bit player in the drama of other people's lives and not the main character of his own. Instead, he resigns himself to his inferiority, concentrating on his advancing age, more manageable questions of appearance and what to eat.  He sees women (the mermaids) interacting, making men happy by involving themselves with men's lives, but it's not for him.  Instead, he will watch from the shore, be an observer of their grace (he's going to continue going to the salons, it's as close as he can get to relationships with women), and when they speak with him, he will continue to drown, unable to communicate or interact.

So, that's how I read Prufrock.  I think I've always liked the poem because I identify with Prufrock's nervousness and lack of confidence when talking with women. While the poem can be read as an exploration of alienation and anxiety generally, I think the language and imagery points to a very specific gender experience.  Ultimately, that why I think trying to figure out what the "overwhelming question" is missing the point.  It's a combination of general opinion and sexual feeling, because both are present for Prufrock in his interactions with women.  That's why the imagery building up has sexual overtones (focusing on how the women look) but the responses of the women seem to be to a more "polite" type of conversation. And because these feelings and anxieties are not "manly", they were only so truthfully explained to us because, like the speaker in the epigram from the Inferno, Prufrock isn't expecting his feelings to be communicated to the world.

  Hopefully, this will help you gain a different perspective on this poem and enjoy it a little more fully.  Let me know in the comments!